As I’m out there at 5 a.m. every morning my mind begins its day. Actually my mind begins its day when I first wake up and force myself to get up in the cold and get ready to go out – this is not that easy at this time of year because you have to figure out the temperature then, the projected temp, is there rain in the forecast, etc. So, the mind games begin upon wakening. And this a.m. some of the reality came to light. I didn’t feel great, I had a migraine, and I was tired (and I can’t even imagine what it’s going to be like after I’ve walked 20 miles every day day after day) and it was cold even though it wasn’t as cold as yesterday.
But I talked to myself and got my butt in gear and ventured out. I finally gave in and took medicine for the migraine and things eventually got better. However, I was slow (more than usual if that’s even imaginable). Whiile I’m training I have my audiobooks to listen to but I don’t know for how long I will have them on the walk if I can even get the audible books on my MP3 player. If not, it will just be me and me out there hour after hour after hour and day after day. Sure I have my entire life to reflect upon while doing this walk but…….
It’s an enormous task and I’m not famous like some people where people along the route come out to help. I admire and respect all those who have done this or even attempted it before. I would love to have companions along the way but since that probably won’t happen I will have to draw on the deepest resilience I can find within. One reason I’m doing this is out of gratitude for my surviving 2016 and 2017 and being physically able to attempt the walk. I am so grateful for all the help I had getting through it – medical help but more importantly all the support and encouragement I got from my friends. I want to show people that they should never give up and at the same time show them the power of being helped by others. If I can give just one person some encouragement to get through a tough time in their life, then it will be worth it. I don’t want anyone thinking their life is over because of chronic illness or chronic pain. I thought that many times during those two years and even wanted it to be over three times. But, because of the support of others, I hung on and clung to that tiny bit of hope. I don’t want anyone to feel like giving up. Their life is worth too much. I just need to hold on to that. I want to do so much for others and be supportive of them in whatever way I can.
Thank you all for being on this trip with me even now before I’ve started. It means so much!